


The Heron and The Crane

by Neyiea



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Break Up, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-02
Packaged: 2018-02-27 21:54:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2708123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Neyiea/pseuds/Neyiea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just because everyone survived doesn't mean that happy endings are in store for them all.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heron and The Crane

**Author's Note:**

> This was actually the first Hobbit fanfic I ever wrote, it got lost underneath everything else before I managed to re-discover it. Figured I'd post it now, because after The Battle of The Five Armies I'll be a broken being who'll never write anything remotely angst-y again (probably).
> 
> The Heron and The Crane is an actual folk-tale, there's a really nice stop-motion animation by Yuri Norstein if you've ever got the time to look it up.

It is with a heavy heart that Bilbo packs up the last of his things. He's said his goodbyes, for the most part, and he takes a little comfort in knowing that he hasn't lost all of his friends. But whatever small swell of happiness is granted to him in knowing that he has earned some forgiveness is lost in an unending tide of sorrow.

He thinks of Fíli and Kíli, so young and brave, and how they had been so close to loosing their lives. He thinks of Thorin: pale, near-death, and absolutely resolute. 

Bilbo was to leave, and never return. 

It hurt, to know that he had done so much only to have it all be forgotten because of a thrice-damned jewel. He'd not meant to betray, he'd meant to save. 

But then, maybe his disloyalty had cut deeper than he'd realized.

He swallowed hard and took a deep breath. 

At least they were all alive. He could stand being the villain in Thorin's own story, as long as they were alive. 

He hears a knock on the door and barely has time to compose himself before Fíli and Kíli stumble in, despite the fact that they were specifically told to stay in bed. 

"What are you two doing up and about," he frets and fusses, easily slipping into old mannerisms, "you'll only hurt yourselves more. I'll tell Óin and Tauriel to tie you down, don't think that I won't." 

Kíli blinks, startled, but Fíli doesn't let himself concede. 

"Bilbo, surely you are not really thinking of leaving us?" 

The hobbit crosses his arms and fights to stay composed. "I do, I'm afraid, and I am. What else are goodbyes for?" 

"But I don't want to say goodbye," Kíli exclaims, "if you would just stay and wait until Uncle is better-" 

"Kíli, giving Thorin more time to brood over the ways I've wronged him will do me no favours." 

"No, my brother is right. Uncle will come to see, in time, that what you did was for the good of us all. There is no way he can play ignorant forever." 

Bilbo turns away from them and takes another deep breath, clenching his hands to stop them from trembling. "And how long? How long would I have to wait before he realizes that what I did I did out of-" his hands clench tighter, "devotion." 

The silence that falls over them is stifling, and he feels like he could choke on the very air he breathes. 

"Even so... He loves you. We know he does." Fíli laments, and Bilbo has to turn back around to face them, to face what he's done. 

"Boys, don't you see? That's exactly why forgiveness is practically out of the question." Thorin had grown to trust and care for him and Bilbo had paid him back in betrayal, even if it was well-meant.

"But don't you love him?" Kíli asks softly. 

He doesn't think his feelings matter anymore. 

There are so many things he wants to say, if he had time to order his thoughts and think it all over he could no doubt fill hundreds of pages. But when he opens his mouth all that manages to come out is: "Once upon a time, there was a Heron and a Crane." 

Fíli and Kíli open their mouths in sync, their eyebrows furrowing with displeasure at the thought of not being taken seriously, but Bilbo raises a hand to silence them. 

"They were not so different, for they had similar beaks and long legs, and it came to pass that the Crane proposed to the Heron. The Heron at first refused, but soon came to regret her decision, for the Crane was handsome and came from a good family. She went to him, meaning to accept his offer, but it was then his turn to refuse her. It was only after she had gone that he changed his mind, but she was still angry when he proposed the second time. On and on it went, each one refusing, then regretting. Any times of affection between them were quick to turn sour, for both were stubborn and set in theirs ways." Bilbo sighed heavily. "And so the cycle continued for an eternity." He wrung his hands together and stared at the floor. 

If he stayed, how long would it be before he began to resent Thorin for not forgiving him? How long would it be before his feelings, once so fond, took a darker turn?

"Dwarrows are a stubborn race, matched only, perhaps, by Hobbits. Even if Thorin were to forgive me eventually, I have no doubt that there would be times when we become angry at each other and refuse to forgive, or bring up past misdeeds with ill-intentions. I do not want an existence like that; being forever at odds with the person I-" his breath hitched, "care for the most. We'd only bring out the worst in each other." 

That's just a story, they tell him, and it wouldn't end up that way, not for him and Thorin. 

Still, Bilbo has made up his mind, and he can't be swayed. 

He promises to write and, when that does little to bring them cheer, cautiously mentions that maybe, once everything has settled down in the oncoming years, he will come to visit. He is not banished from Mirkwood, Laketown, or Dale after all, and so long as he doesn't intrude on Thorin's lands the King wouldn't even have to know he was so close.

"You had better visit," Kíli mumbles, resting his head against the crook of Bilbo's neck. 

"Or else we'll come by unannounced and give you a shock," Fíli adds, and Bilbo reaches out to bring him into a loose, one armed hug. 

In the morning he sets out, Gandalf by his side, and as he takes one final look at the Lonely Mountain his eyes begin to gloss over. 

"Gandalf, I think I... I think I really loved him," he chokes, and the wizard sets a reassuring hand on Bilbo's shoulder. 

He does not say that time will heal all wounds, or that Bilbo will learn to love again, just gives his friend a moment of peace to bid a silent farewell. 

"I will come back again, someday," he promises under his breath, "but I imagine it won't be any time soon." 

He turns and leaves Erebor behind him.


End file.
